Tuesday, 10 June 2014

ME/CFS clinic appt 8 - Stress Management

Appointment 8 happened last week and focused on stress management and a bit of CBT - challenging thoughts.

The stress management was helpful and outlined what can cause stress:

Taking on more than you can do and not allowing yourself to have enough relaxation time.
For me definitely! I recognised recently that a lot of the time I offer to take on more at work than others just because I don't want my colleagues/ manager to feel like I can't manage it. I feel like I have to prove myself. And in terms of socialising, I don't like to miss out even if that means getting payback. I am however getting better at all of this and am prioritising what really matters.

Never saying 'No' to people.
Well I feel proud to say that I am also improving in this area too. After that assertiveness course I feel I am getting my needs met now and thinking more about consequences before I reply with a 'yes I'll do it!' 

Never being satisfied with what you have achieved.
This is an issue for me that I desperately need to look at. Using decorating the house as an example, we have only been in three months and have done quite a bit, transforming the living room and sorting out a playroom and bedroom for my little boy. However I still find myself driven to have a 'perfect home' and need to rein myself back a lot of the time and remind myself that it's a work in progress and it's all about the pacing!  The perfectionist element of my personality is really overwhelming at times! And discipline is not always my strong point...

Getting frustrated by my situation.
Yes I do. Especially when some weeks can be so great and then for a reason that is self-inflicted, or something that I just can't pinpoint, I slip again. I'm learning to be a lot kinder to myself though and more accepting of my situation.

We looked at unhelpful thinking patterns (again! I think it might be a lifelong process!) and the Worry Tree which I hadn't seen before:


During this session it felt like things were beginning to come to an end. We've covered all of the lifestyle management topics that the clinic offers and in terms of beginning to exercise, I feel I know where I need to start and how to build myself up slowly. So we are going to have a final session in a month's time and then there will be a follow up three month's after this. I think the co-ordinator for Action for ME in Scotland is looking for feedback on how people have found the clinic so I plan to get in touch with her, as overall I've found it a positive and helpful experience and hope that others can benefit from it.


  1. I can definitely learn a thing or two from these suggestions! Sometimes stepping back and re-evaluating everything is needed to move forward. This has reminded me to do that :)

  2. Ah, that proving yourself 'thing'. Yup. What if I could accept that I am already good enough? That this health condition is helping me to realise I don't need to be always 'doing'? ;) Still learning that one!!

    And I do hear you on the perfectionist streak, and on the discipline it takes to stop, pause, wait, slow down, etc. Still learning that one, too!

    Loving that the assertiveness course has helped you to choose to say No! :) I like the Worry Tree as well.

    It's been helpful for me to follow you on this journey, so thanks for sharing your insights and allowing us to be part of it. Good luck with your final session(s) and here's to feleing happier and healthier for years to come!

  3. Thanks Jo. I think I'm going to blog a bit more about some of the aspects I mentioned above. Glad you have found it helpful to read about my journey at the clinic. x